In something i was reading for one of my classes, they said that women usually define themselves in relation to others. So someone might define herself in relationship to her siblings, parents, or significant others. It got me to thinking about how I define myself.

I'd like to think that i define myself as an individual that is independently happy. But truthfully, I think that i may put too much stock in my relationship with others. I should really be putting all of my stock in my relationship with Christ. I should strive to get to a place, where my foundation in him is so solid, that regardless of what's going on in my life and in my relationships with others that I know, at the end of the day that I have everything i need in Him.

Now I love all my family and friends and I thank God for them, because they are icing on top of the cake and blessings from God. I just want to be soooooo rooted in Him, that I don't rely on others but rely on God fully.

Aside from that...

Tonight I went to an intervarsity large group meeting. Let's just say I was totally out of my element. I went in with the idea that I would just go and hear Keenon speak and then leave. Let's just say, I didn't go with the greatest of intentions or in a good frame of mind. I even plotted ways to put off vibes so that many people wouldn't come and speak to me.

But i was standing there as they started the worship service and of course I only knew part of one song. But I was standing there thinking to myself, just because i don't know these songs, I should be able to praise and worship God. I was just soooo aware and thinking about how uncomfortable i was in this new environment. So I tried to push it out of my mind and focus on God. It was just a wake up call to me, that i just need to take it back to the basics. I don't need my kind of music to worship and praise God, or any music for that matter. It's not about me, or the physical environment, it's about God.

I think sometimes we just get so used to our church or our routines. I'm glad I got out of my element tonight. I feel like God is really dealing with me on a couple of things which i won't go into detail on.

But I just thank God for the ways that he guides us to the places we need to be. He's an awesome God!

anyhoo

Later DayZ